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Let’s get one thing straight: breastfeeding is natural, but natural doesn’t mean easy.
As a lactation consultant and mental health nurse, I’ve worked with thousands of new mothers—first-time moms, second-time moms, even fifth-time moms—and I can tell you this: struggling with breastfeeding is common, and it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.
We live in a society that sets us up to believe that breastfeeding should come instinctively. That the moment your baby is born, they’ll latch perfectly and your milk will flow like a faucet. The reality? Most moms and babies take a good 4 to 6 weeks to feel somewhat comfortable with breastfeeding—and even then, it can still be a work in progress.
You’re learning. Your baby is learning. It’s a relationship that takes time to build, just like any other.
Furthermore, it's a skill. Like any skill - think: learning to read or drive a car, nobody is good at it after doing it for only a few days. It takes regular practice and patience.
Even seasoned moms are often surprised by how different each breastfeeding experience can be. Just because you’ve done it before doesn’t mean it’ll be easy this time—and that’s OK.
Some very normal challenges include:
These concerns are real, and they deserve attention—not shame, not guilt, and definitely not the pressure to figure it out on your own.
You wouldn’t expect yourself to know how to rehab a broken ankle without help. You’d see a physical therapist, right? Or if your heart felt off, you'd call a cardiologist. So why, when breastfeeding feels painful, confusing, or just plain hard, do we hesitate to reach out?
That’s where International Board Certified Lactation Consultants (IBCLCs) come in.
We’re trained experts in breastfeeding and infant feeding—just like a podiatrist is an expert in feet or a dermatologist in skin. It’s completely normal, and absolutely encouraged, to reach out to an IBCLC if you're having trouble (or even if you just want reassurance that you're on the right track!).
Somehow, asking for breastfeeding help has become wrapped in shame, as if needing support means you’ve failed. Let me be the first to say: That couldn’t be further from the truth.
Seeking help is an act of strength. It shows you’re tuning into your needs and your baby’s needs. You deserve to feel confident, informed, and supported in your feeding journey—whatever that looks like for you.
Whether this is your first baby or your fifth, whether you plan to breastfeed for six weeks or six months, you are not alone in your struggle. Breastfeeding is a skill that takes time, support, and often professional guidance to develop. That’s not failure—it’s just biology, learning, and love in motion.
If you’re struggling, questioning, or just feeling unsure—reach out. You’re worth it. Your baby is worth it. And no, you don’t have to figure it all out on your own.
